Sunday, February 17, 2008

Valentine's Past...

Ah, love is no longer in the air...right? I mean thats what people try to make us believe by having us do everything in our power to make sure that V-day is spent with those we love. That its the day that love is truly in the air. I mean what tha hell happens to the other 364 days of the year now? Do we love no more? Do we care for no one because we have exhausted it all on V-day? And what tha hell happens to those that have no one special? No loved ones to run to on that special day? ARGH!!! Don't mind me...i guess am simply upset. I mean who wouldn't be, lets look at this closely.

Val day. A day i frown over as year after year i am reminded on this hectic day that i have no one to love, no one to call my own and her me, no one to cherish, love, and protect, and vice versa. Yeah, Val day just never suited me much, especially since am someone that believes so strongly in love. Amazing isn't it? The dead actually loves! OMG! Yes yes, i do love and wish to be loved. I yearn for it as much or even more than the next man does. Yet i tend to be the insensitive one, the one that most women (sometimes men) wouldn't peg for a romantic. I mean don't get me wrong here. Your never gonna find me reading a romantic novel unless it has some serious evil or dark tone to it. And your definitely never gonna find me cry or get all mushy over some romantic movie, incident, or scene that occurs.

So then why is it that i yearn for it now more than ever? Have i played the so called 'game' so much that i wish to retire in the bosom of a woman i can call my queen? A companion and confidant. The one i can rely on when all else is ruined. The missing rib that holds my heart together if and when it shatters. I wish for that so much every time this month runs through its course. And every time i am disappointed time and time again. Is my so called 'shell' that protects my heart so hard to crack? Even though through out most of my existence, my heart has always been outside that protective shell being smashed time and time again across that same shell that was to protect it. Yet i am told, coerced, and decieved by myself no less to continue on this now seemingly hopeless adventure in my life to find that one thing that most of us dream to find but never do. Have but haven't realized it, and the very few that...do have and cherish it. Yes during this time, it is you all that i truly envy. For in time, this month will be over and you would all go back to your normal routine knowing that you have someone special always with you.

While i, will live on. Knowing fully well how empty my life is. Knowing that sooner or later i will forget about this love crap and continue to live my life as i do best. And with all the strength in me, fighting for any means to erase February forever. So that i may never feel like this again.

Happy Valentine's day past everyone, i hope last month was filled with love for everyone...And hopefully the year will be filled with it as well.

2 comments:

Free-flowing Florida said...

first things first, d name of ur blog is scary!!!!!!!!! passages from d dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can't imagine! r u a stephen king fan? i love him!!!!!!


anyways, u sound like a woman just there! ddnt know men 'desire' & 'look' 4 love!!!!! i tot u guys usually have so many choices 2 pick 4rm!!!!!

Jeff Corbin said...

@Free-flowing florida: yeah i definitely love stephen king, and usually anyone that can write a good horror or scifi book is my hero/heroine. Now as for me sounding like a woman....yeah...thats helpful...now am gonna have to check that fact in the bathroom cus a rarely look down there these days....How could you?! Your making me cry!....Okay am done with the feminine side now.

Anyways just thought i'd write that cus it seems everyone seems to think am some kind of evil guy or something...*glares at Ebere*...but as usual am not gonna call names...EBERE!!

Am sure the next post will be an interesting read. :)