Delayed News Report

You sit calmly on your couch watching your daily portion of 'Life's a beautiful torment' when the screen flickers a bit and is abruptly changed and replaced by a black male decayed zombie that seems apologetic due to his sudden appearance.

Mike Zombie: Good evening ladies and gentlemen, my name is Mike Zombie and this is a breaking delayed news on the current events within from Port Harcourt. We sincerely apologize for the delay but we had a problem within the studio as bodies we were feeding on decided it was time to rebel and actually fight back. Regardless we will be replaying a prerecorded report that was recieved by me from Lisa Corpse...our onscene reporter....

The current image is replaced by prerecorded news feed where mike seems to be wearing a different outfit but is still in top decaying form...

Mike Zombie: What exactly is going on over there now Lisa?

A crippled looking female appears before you with no signs of movement but voices seemed to be emanating from somewhere...

Lisa Corpse: Well things are slightly calming down as a curfew had been instated a few days ago and the streets of port harcourt are filled with soldiers, police officers, and naval officers.

Mike Zombie: Any reason as to why the curfew was declared?

Lisa Corpse: Well based on our inside sources it seems that these militants seem to be coming from a close by waterfront and as such the nigerian navy has been sent over there to hold them back. As such the curfew was declared so that when the army pushes them back offshore, the navy can finish them off and make sure they never come back on land. To summarise it, any ships seen around those areas after 7pm are immediately shot down Mike.

Mike Zombie: Now those are drastic measures, but will they work?

Lisa Corpse: Well it seems they are working but i don't think the border searches and patrols are effective.

Mike Zombie: What border patrols?

Lisa Corpse: Well it seems in the major areas of port harcourt and also around the borders of port harcourt. Citizens are asked to keep their hands up and walking by so that they can be searched and checked. If you are in a car you are to leave one hand on your steering wheel and the other hand raised up.

The screen is once more replaced by an image taking by one of the news team's photographers...It is quite clear that this was taken in a dangerous situation as the last person that did this got shot and killed.
It returns back to Lisa Corpse...

Lisa Corpse: As you can see it seems quite effective with only one major flaw Mike...

Mike Zombie: And what might that be Lisa?

Lisa Corpse: Well they people leave their bags and belongings within the buses or cars they are within before walking out and the cars and buses don't get searched! I mean whats the point of all this then? Exercise? People get that just from waking up around here.

Mike Zombie: Well now that is a lapse within the Nigerian Army...I felt they were quite effective considering they lead a lot of ECOWAS missions.

Lisa Corpse: Well mike to give them credit, they are not the ones in charge of this. Its actually the police and mopols...so i guess its to be expected. Well thats it for now around here, i hope things are rectified as companies and businesses...especially joints or beer parlors are losing quite a lot of money from this. Back to you Mike.

Her face seems to finally move and a smile creeps through it...The feed is interrupted and replaced with the present day Mike.

Mike Zombie: Now that they are, thanks Lisa for your report on the port harcourt crisis...I guess thats it for us here at Dead TV, once again...am Mike Zombie, wishing you all a Goodnight...

The screen returns to normal and you continue watching 'Life's a beautiful torment'...

The Dead Shall Party!!

It was an eiry cold night without a soul in sight outside the walls of the mansion. The animals were silent and only coming out to make sure they were still alive. The stars had fled from the skies in search of safer areas. The area was quiet...too quiet...and suddenly, without warning, the hearts of those watching from afar leaps a beat or two as loud music ensues from within the walls of the mansion. Screams of joy, sounds of boots pounding the grounds, hands clapping, and once a while...sounds of people hitting the ground from overdose of alcohol could be heard from within the mansion. No one knew what was going on, and no one dared to find out. The mansion hadn't been occupied for over a century, and what was even more scary and suspicious was the fact that this same incident had occured about a century ago. No one is alive anymore from the days of the last incident, but it was quite clear that all those that entered the mansion...came out...different...as though dead but still breathing.

And now it was happening again but no one was brave enough to enter. Only the dead were there, those that had been there a hundred years ago. Those that had drank away their sorrows and troubles and left their bodies to the vultures, and their souls to the devil himself. They were now within the walls of Dike Dum reliving what was once the great reaping but this time only a few brought more souls to be taken by the Devil. The night was young and the poor living souls hadn't realised what they had gotten themselves into. They were all smiles, enjoying every minute of the night as though it was their last...little did they know, it really was. As their bottles were all but empty their minds began to fill up with images of horrible scenes of seduction, mutilation, and death on the dance floor. But what scared them the most was how the people simply wouldn't die as these things happened. For a long time they stared as these atrocities happened and wondered if they could actually do these things without fear of that. For with all that was in them, they had not realised that such things were humanly impossible but felt the need to try it as their bodies tinged with higher sensations as they viewed the groove on the dance floor.

Only four in number among the dead, but all were now willing and definitely very able. The lady in red was the first one out on the dance floor, sadly this time she would not be the one woeing men to their doom. She had picked a lively looking male that seemed to have all the moves and yet was still able to twist his neck in a 360 motion with his hands literally breaking and points no human dreamed possible. The rest of the four had followed behind her, motivated by her as all men would have been. Sadly she was the first to go as the rest joined different ladies with seemingly different personalities...a shy nerdy girl, a gifted body twister, and a fully loaded model...all with nothing in common except the need to reap the souls of the living to join in their torturous life. There was nothing that wasn't done to these poor living souls as bits and pieces of their bodies were taken from them as they partied their life away. Their bodies were so mutilated that i wish not to go further into this, but one thing was for sure. The lady had passed on first, followed in turn by each of the men. Their minds warped with bottles after bottles of concussions made by the dead left them wanting more of what they couldn't understand was a painfully outstretched death. The party had ended after the dead had had their fill and the devil had come to collect what was now his.

But one thing was for sure, after the night had come and gone. The residents around the area had come to check on things now that it was safer to come out. People say the four bodies that were found all within a pit close to the dancefloor, had smiles on their faces. Bodies deformed beyond recognition but what little of their faces that lips left...had smiles on them.

Once the mind is lost, anything can be believed as long as it says so. Visions of worlds collapsing, people walking on water, and even the believe that pain does not exist. We are wonderful creatures...learn to exercise your minds, creatively and logically. :)

Survival of the fittest...

As i stare at the topic thinking of how best to start this blog, my mind flashes back to a few weeks ago (maybe less) when i was wrecklessly as always. Quickly driving into the front of a trailer dodging a parked car and watching the car behind me smash into the parked car at a speed of 120km/hr. I would know considering i was going slightly faster than that and he was trying to match me. Now the sad yet funny part of this was that i was looking at the accident from my rear view mirror laughing at the fool and wondering what kind of driver would actually pull such a stunt. Though don't judge me so harshly yet, i had a little moment where i was actually feeling bad about it all and wondering if i should stop...but all that kinda died away quickly as the laughter resumed.

And now am back to the present...staring at the topic once more...and its quite clear how to start...i start from the beginning.

Its funny how we say things can never be worse than they already are and yet whenever we say such things...something new happens that makes things even worse than they already are. For those that don't know whats going on in Port Harcourt....please read the previous post. Anyways, today kinda made things clear as to how far these psychos are willing to go as they boldly went against the soldiers that were stationed within the area to protect the civilians. This happened in the early hours of the morning and lasted well into the afternoon. The craziest part of this whole thing is that while this was going on i was busy taking Ayo (a friend of mine that came on business) to the company's office thinking everything was okay. It wasn't long before we started hearing people telling everyone to be careful and not head to town. Of course, after i dropped him off....yeah...i went to town. Not into the firing away but close enough to at least hear the gunshots and bombs going off. Its a crazy world we live in. After the whole battle was done, there were 3 fully loaded big ass trucks taking dead bodies to the cemetery. I was honestly expecting all 3 to be filled with bodies from the militants...but noooo...2 trucks were filled with the soldiers bodies...all dead...while only 1 truck carried the dead bodies of the militants...Yeah, i'd say we are in for some serious problems.

The funny thing about this (theres always a funny side with me people, get used to it) was that the major incharge of the campaign actually told the reporters that this will be lesson for the militants to learn. That they will not think of doing this again...what tha hell!? They lost more men, they had less equipment, i mean they basically had their asses handed to them and he says the militants won't dare try it again?....ONLY IN NIGERIA!

And now for the sweetest part of this whole thing. Recently it seems that chelsea has been doing much better than my beloved team..MANCHESTER UNITED!!! So it was only fair that something stupid on their side happen. So there i was having fun with Ayo over a couple of bottles, being glad that we are still alive, and from no where a car slams into big block and a lamp post, and also i think a NEPA poll as well. I had to clear my eyes a couple of times thinking maybe the booze had started getting to me...but nooo...it was real...it happened...we start laughing about it and quickly run out to check on things. The guy survived so don't freak out, but as i look around and start taking pictures of the whole scene...i notice something that makes the both of us feel better about MU's recent failures...a chelsea symbol within the car! HA!!!




And now i wish you all sweet dreams...from your friendly walking dead. :)

The dead speak?!

First off, lets get the introductions out of the way. As you all should know by now...the name's Jeff. First of a family of 9 and a proud member of the KIA squad...(More on that in the future). Been around for quite sometime and survived a whole lot...Favorite incident would be the cow accident of 2002 that left me scared for life. Though i must admit...it gives me a new story to tell when in the mist of those that wonder...I live in Nigeria, a nation that is chaotic to say the least but at least boasts of one simple thing...true freedom. Such is to be expected since the country is technically lawless. Yes yes...we have laws, but who obeys them?

The police are bribed on a daily basis or patrol the roads and streets requesting for money from the citizens. The citizens do everything in their power to make sure they get things done their way and always try to find a way to hussle out of something. The politicians in the government steal the nation's money everytime they can and then turn on each other when one takes or acts more than he is allowed to (if such a thing exists). The shark eats the fishes, the bigger shark eats the regular sharks, and the whales...well you get the point. Taxes are a joke except for large companies, especially oil companies. And most importantly, we all live our lives always trying to make more money and hardly ever thinking of the creativity in anything we do. In such a nation, who would dare say they aren't truly free? Yet its amazing that people like me and all those others that are truly creative, insightful, and gifted in many ways survive and make it through all this to shine.

Its quite simple really, there is always light where there is darkness. And vice versa. Which is why i always laugh when i hear people talk about a world of peace and goodness only...sorry people...but that will never be. Just as every human is born different in his or her own way, so it is for such things in life. And now that am done ranting...here's a little bit of whats been happening in my life.

Its been pretty much a week of heavy violence within the city of Port Harcourt. The battle between different militant factions (keep in mind that these militant factions are funded by politicians within the state and have the agendas of the politicians in mind) within the city have poured out into the streets affecting innocent civilians...civilians like me...that was forced to pull a bond driving move so as to avoid stray bullets and other cars also trying to avoid the bullets as well. A reverse 180 in a benz coupe...yeah...am definitely gonna remember that for a while...

If the life of a dead man is so exciting...i wonder how the living are doing...